Rule #1: Going to the Movies Etiquette Rule #1

Rule: don't talk during the movie.
Exception: the movie is The Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Room, or any movie more than 20 years old and starring Bruce Campbell.

People, a movie costs damn near $13 now. Soon it'll be $15, and IMAX is already $18. If you decide you want to splurge a little and get some over-salted popcorn and an enormous seltzer, you're looking at startup costs of $20/person. I can see an Off-Broadway theater show for that - WITH LIVE HUMAN BEING ACTORS WHO ARE GETTING PAID BY PERFORMANCE (and most make more than I do per week, and they only work a couple hours a day).

My most recent experience was at the future classic The Wolfman, a movie that was graciously bad enough to almost allow it into the exception category. I could have, however, done without watching 2 rednecks wander back and forth in front of me at the climax of the movie (1. How did rednecks find their way into NYC? But of course they'd choose to go the movies while here...). The gentleman of the couple flicking his lighter on because "can't see shit in this place," and "where the fuck are we," are statements that enhanced my experience like a turd on my shoe. This couple wandered from one end of the row to the other, lighter flickin', shit talkin' the whole way, only to wander back and sit where they'd originally been seated. Yes this occurred in the middle of the film. They seemed so lost, like wildebeests suddenly finding themselves at Machu Picchu.


Suddenly I didn't mind so much the fellow down the row exclaiming (like this movie was an interactive experience (see the exception)) every couple of minutes "Aw DAMN!" and "he crazy!" or "Fuck that shit man, FUCK that."


Indeed. Wolf men are spooky.