Did you get the memo? You didn’t? Well now you have no excuse. There are thousands, arguably millions, of people wandering the streets of this city with absolutely no concern for decency, courtesy, and efficiency. There’s a saying about the old lady we call New York (although compared to most international cities, she’s actually a young bitch): “She’s either making love to you or fucking you.” When she’s making love to you as you bite into Grimaldi’s pizza (after hoofing the Brooklyn Bridge with your gaggle of out-of-towners and waiting in line for an hour; “do you always do this much walking here?”), everything’s great. When she’s fucking you, it’s for one of three reasons.
1) The esteemed MTA (enough said).
2) People who didn’t get the memo (continue reading).
3) Random happenstance (these can be good as well: “what parade is this?”).
Unfortunately, I can’t change #1 any more than I can convince Palin to drive a Prius. Likewise, #3 is instigated by the great overseer who watches from above and throws slippery sidewalks, infrastructure collapses and other slapdash inanities at the inhabitants of New York City. So I’ll focus on #2. The people who didn’t get the memo.
